memeguy-com:

This must be the coolest dog ever not allowed here

memeguy-com:

This must be the coolest dog ever not allowed here

the-birdlady:

my family and friends trying to get me to leave the house

image

(Source: droqo)

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(Source: offpluto)

racebending:

Totally intrigued by Dallas Theater Center’s summer production of Les Miserables directed by Liesl Tommy.   The story is reset in modern day with an awesome racebent cast.

Check out the highlights video here!

15 favorite quotes that didn’t make it into the movies

Kurt Vonnegut’s Rules for Short Stories
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things–reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them–in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

—Kurt Vonnegut  (via cresmix)

(Source: chrisarrant)

peachybeam:

Sailor Moon S Knit

peachybeam:

Sailor Moon S Knit

leslie-knopes:

parks and rec + text posts (part 2)

mustbekarma:

So far adulthood is just going grocery shopping, realizing you didn’t plan well or logically, going grocery shopping again, repeat ad infinitum. 0/10 stars, would not recommend

galaxysdefender:

southern-feminism:

kosmonaughtybarbie:

kateordie:

This comic is about how there are two sides to every story.

on point

A guy insulting his ex to “compliment” you is always a red flag.

THIS^

galaxysdefender:

southern-feminism:

kosmonaughtybarbie:

kateordie:

This comic is about how there are two sides to every story.

on point

A guy insulting his ex to “compliment” you is always a red flag.

THIS^

valkubuscloneclub:

Can we just talk about this for a second? Zahara is wearing typical Ethiopian clothing because they think it’s important that she knows not only where she comes from but what her whole culture is. Shiloh is wearing a tux because they do not care that their child identifies as a boy and they make sure that he get’s to dress as he wants because they just want him to be happy. If you don’t think that they are amazing actors then so be it, but don’t you ever try to say that they aren’t amazing parents. /rantover

(Source: annilovesjolie)

vithcytries:

HOO Guardians of The Galaxy AU!

With Annabeth Chase as Gamora
And Percy Jackson as Peter “Star Lord” Quill

I also had Leo as Rocket…had.
Anyways~ I’m open to suggestions for the other characters <3 

wowthing:

This needs to stop I am about to self combust

(Source: catsbeaversandducks)

krazykitsune:

leupagus:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

frostlands:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”

“dude really you don’t have to just leave what the fu—”

“you disgust me here take these iron supplements”

“where did you even get th—”

“shut up and take your pills and dont forget your vitamin D”

“i’m going to check up on you weekly to make sure you’re taking them”

“that’s not necessary”

“maybe we should work on a dietary plan with foods rich in iron and other things for you”

“do you get this involved with all of your meals”

VAMPIREDUDE:
did u get the cookbook i orderd 4 u

ME:
Oh my god, first of all stop using text speak, you told me you were 278, second how did you know where I LIVED, third yes I got it.

VAMPIREDUDE:
heard onions were good 4 blood, eat lots

ME:
So you can have a tasty meal? I guess you’d rather I stay away from garlic, huh.

VAMPIREDUDE:
UR being v rude I just got u a present!!!

ME:
THE COOKBOOK IS CALLED “HOW TO TASTE DELICIOUS,” I AM CALLING THE COPS

#sounds like the begining of a beautiful friendship #gimme this sitcom

(Source: jaclcfrost)